Does anyone know whether idiocy is a transmissable illness, because it seems to be catching in a big way in some circles.

Flag-burning law plan criticised

Human rights groups have opposed a plan by police chiefs to make flag-burning by protesters a new criminal offence.

No-o-o-o Shit!

The Liberal Democrats and Liberty said new legislation was unnecessary because police had powers to tackle incitement.

Since when did that stop the Police asking for more powers and more legislation. They’re absolutely fucking swimming in new laws and new things to arrest people for and now they put on another fucking Oliver Twist act and head off to the Home Office, cap in hand, to say: ‘Please Dr Demento, can we have some more…?

I’ve got a better idea, here. Why not just stick with the laws you’ve already fucking got and try enforcing those for a bit and see how they go before trying to stick your noses back in the

Scotland Yard has drawn up proposals to submit to the Attorney General because of a belief the UK has become a soft touch in dealing with extremists.

So hang on, the Police want new laws because of a ‘belief’ that the UK has become soft touch – whose belief would that happen to be? Mad Mel’s?

The plans, backed by Labour MP Shahid Malik, would also ban protesters from hiding their faces from police.

Oh boy, this is now getting fucking surreal. They want to ban protestors from hiding their faces from police?

Anything else you’d like while we’re on, lads?

You want everyone to have their national insurance number tattooed onto their foreheads and required to wear a placard round their necks with the name, address and telephone number on it? Or should we all start submitting DNA samples to the police before we’re allowed to go on a protest march.

You ever get the feeling that is all done to a pissed-up senior copper falling asleep halfway through watching V for Vendetta only then to wake up just before the end and shit himself at the sight of all those people in Guy Fawkes masks – look guys, its a fucking movie… it’s not real okay.

How far does this proposed ban on masks go? Does it only apply to actual physicla masks or would using stage make-up also come under this. If I go out shopping in Birmingham and there’s a march on, do I stand a chance of getting nicked if I’ve taken my six year-old daughter to get her face painted?

But that would not include Muslim women wearing a veil.

Right, lads. We’re to the protest march… No you have all remembered your burkas?

Shami Chakrabarti, Liberty’s director, said: "We will have to look at the detail of these proposals but the police already have wide powers, especially for dealing with people wearing masks.

"I wonder how hard-working officers on the beat today will feel knowing their senior officers are spending so much time dreaming up unnecessary legislation."

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Criminalising flag-burning would be an unacceptable restriction of freedom of expression, said Liberal Democrat MP Evan Harris, a member of the parliamentary Joint Committee on Human Rights.

"The battle against terrorism and extremism is not a matter of yet more public order offences and it is vital that we preserve free speech where no crime is incited," he said.

Well, I’m glad someone’s realised that.

Public order

The plans have been drawn up by Scotland Yard and submitted to the Attorney General Lord Goldsmith, by Britain’s most senior Muslim police chief, Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur.

Mr Ghaffur, responsible for public order in the capital, said he was concerned the UK had come to be seen at home and abroad as soft on extremist demonstrators.

As opposed to be seen at home and abroad as country on a slow descent into becoming a police state and governed by bunch of utterly illiberal freedom-hating toss-pots.

Just what the fuck is all this supposed to achieve? What? Are you thinking

He said police wanted "a change in the law on the burning of flags – to make that illegal".

Why? For the sake of appearances?

While you’re on, is there anything else you’d like criminalised? Like walking on the cracks in the pavement, perhaps?

Mr Malik, MP for Dewsbury, said burning a flag was clearly an incitement to violence practised by a small number of "thugs" who get to the front of demonstrations.

"They hijack what are very legitimate and peaceful protests.

"Not only do they spoil it, but they have the potential to turn it into something much more sinister."

Ah, poor dears. Fancy having your protest spoiled by some nasty old bastard with a flag and box of fucking matches.

What is the thinking here… that somewhere a would-be terrorist cell might meet up and decide they’d better cancel the Jihad because the government have banned flag-burning.

It’s a piece of fucking cloth, for fuck’s sake. Look, if it bothers you that much, why not just the DTI to change safely laws so that all flags have to made of flame retardant material – it would make about the same amount of fucking sense.

But Massoud Shedjareh, of the Islamic Human Rights’ Commission, said whether it was incitement or not depended on the circumstances, but police already had powers to deal with it.

A Home Office spokeswoman said she was unaware police thought existing powers were inadequate but ministers were ready to listen to any suggestions from officers.

Tell you what… How about you don’t listen to this suggestion and tell the police to fuck off and do their job for a change…

Seriously, if anyone’s actually stupid enought to vote this shit into law then there’s only one appropriate response…

Anyone know where I can get Guy Fawkes masks in bulk?

Last word on this goes to Bill Hicks, who captures the whole subject wonderfully…

Did you watch the flag burning thing? Wasn’t that great man? Boy everybody showed their true colours then didn’t they?….Scary… People just flipped, they reacted like The Supreme Court approved of flag burning, know what I mean?

" Does that mean we have to burn our flags?.. They said that we ha-"… NO NO NO NO NO NO, they didn’t say that. They said that if someone wanted to burn a flag, he perhaps doesn’t need to go to jail for a year…Pretty harsh on their part huh?

"They said we should bur-"…. They didn’t say that, they didn’t say that, they didn’t say that

"Does that mean I have to go and -"….NO NO NO NO NO NO NO… Listen, read , think, calm down, relax, SHUT THE FUCK UP

"Well I don’t get it..I don’t wanna burn my flag"….THEN DOOOOOOOOOOON’T.

People snapped, they were like "Hey buddy, my dad died for that flag"

"Really?…I bought mine…They sell ’em in K-Mart…"

"yeah..He died in Korea for that flag"

"Wow, what a coincidence. Mine was made in Korea… the world is THAT big man…"

No-one, and I repeat NO-ONE has ever died for a flag. A flag is a piece of cloth, they might have died for freedom, which, by the way, is the freedom to….Burn the.. fucking flag you see??..Burning the flag doesn’t make freedom go away, it’s kinda like Free-dom ok?..ok.

And they’ve had 4 cases in this country’s 200 year history, so it’s not that big an issue. One of the hotter smokescreens they’ve put down the pipe. I don’t wanna burn a flag, but what business is it of mine if you do?

Is it my business if someone wants to..Is it?…NO

Is it my business what other people read or watch on TV? NO IT’S NOT…THANK YOU

You see, when we talk these things through, it becomes a little clearer doesn’t it? That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve and get on the fucking spaceships and get outta here.