Was going to write something – usual hoots of derision stuff – about the idea of having ‘Pet Police’, but Longrider’s nicely saved me the time and is well worth a visit.

Go there and enjoy and then ponder this – based on what you’ve just read, how long do you think it will be before the government get around to Public Hygene Bill with a code of conduct for wiping your arse – you know the kind of thing, how many sheets to use, whether you should wipe front-to-back or back-to-front, that kind of thing.

If this is anything to go by then not as long as you’d hope.