So I’ve got the TV on in the background and up pops a trailer for a new American cop show on one of the cable channels. I’m not really paying attention, so I don’t catch the name of the show or even the channel its on but what does register is the voice over…

“She’s a cop… She’s a mother… She’s a woman!”

Well D’uh! What the fuck do you expect unless the series is called ‘Lassie: Police Sniffer Dog’?

Then my brain starts moving up the gears… just exactly what the fuck is that voice over driving at?

Seriously. Could you imagine a promo for a cop show with a male lead using the same kind of voice over?

“He’s a cop… He’s a father… He’s a man!.”

Hell no, of course not.

That would just sound so fucking stupid that not even Dave would think of using it, unless it was a preview promo for a comedy sketch-show, so why would anyone think it would sound any less moronic just because the lead character is a series is female.

Then it struck me – hang on, there’s a subtext to that trailer, a secondary voice-over, that’s going to make perfect sense to a particular demographic, one that goes something like this…

“She’s a cop… [she’s tough]”

“She’s a mother… [she’s caring… and she probably fucks as well]”

“She’s a woman… [YES!!! JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST AND HALLELUJAH! SHE DEFINITELY FUCKS… AND SHE OWNS A PAIR OF FUCKING HANDCUFFS!!!!!]”

Now I understand. It’s all crystallised perfectly and I know exactly what this promo means and what it’s actually trying to tell us.

…

Jay and Silent Bob have got jobs in advertising.

Of course the advert is still fucking stupid but at least the creative process behind it now makes sense.