From the file marked ‘Please can I have a job at the Daily Mash… please… pretty please…’ we find a ‘Staff Reporter’ at the Sun getting the annual silly season off to a flying start:
A US boffin has pledged ‘anti-alien’ hats to Welsh UFO-spotters after The Sun revealed how stunned police gave chase to a UFO over Cardiff.
The ‘thought screen’ – creation of US aircraft worker Michael Menkin – is claimed to protect people from being abducted.
Yep, The Sun is actually running a tinfoil helmet story somewhere other than in its ‘Sun Says…’ leader column and its a doozy, as it goes on to quote Menkin as having told The Sun that…
“The people in Wales will benefit by making their own helmets.
“Everybody would be a lot safer if they had one in the house. There seems to have been more reports (of UFOs) lately in Wales and Scotland and the western half of the British Isles.”
Now, you might think that you couldn’t top that quote for comedy value, but wait… there’s more…
Margaret Fry, of the Welsh Fellowship of Ufologists, fumed: “I have seen UFOs, but I don’t believe in crackpot ideas like this.
“It’s ridiculous. People in the Welsh Federation have been investigating UFOs for 40 years and none of us subscribes to this nonsense.”
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK ME!!!
Yes, you are seeing what you think you’re seeing – the woman who claims to have seen UFOs and has been ‘investigating’ them for 40 years is really calling the man with the tinfoil hat a ‘crackpot’.
Please tell me this story has been spotted by the ‘Mock The Week’ crew – as I understand it they record the show on Tuesday for transmission on the following Thursday and there’s got to be a half-hour show’s worth of material in this one story alone.
That’s how they want you to react.
Here is my report on the thought screen helmet. Michael Menkin
Report on Alien Abductions and the Thought Screen Helmet by Inventor Michael Menkin
The Alien Presence on the Earth
It’s the worst thing that’s happened to the human race, state one of the first persons to try my invention, the thought screen helmet. He was referring to a relatively recent phenomenon which started around 1890, the taking of human beings by aliens from space. Although the readers of this journal are familiar of this activity, I’d like to summarize it to some extent.
From what qualified investigators such as David Jacobs have found, there is a race of aliens from a distant planet, with a very advanced technology and knowledge of mental activity, which found its way to the earth and is preying on our race. From what we have been able to learn, the aliens are taking both men and women and using their reproductive materials, eggs from women and sperm from men, to make a new race which retains their key alien characteristics while being able to live with humans on our planet. This process is an act of subterfuge, the aliens do it in secret and are able to erase the short term memories of their victims so most of the victims remember little of what transpires. The aliens are doing this all over the world.
Also from what we have learned, the aliens plan some final event, where they will dominate and control all of the human race. So as one of my first abductees to wear a helmet said, it’s the worst thing that has ever happened to the human race and the greatest threat to the human race. The survival of our race on this planet depends on how we deal with this phenomenon and if we can effectively combat alien activity. I don’t know what else to call it except that the survival of the human race depends on our ability to handle the problem. At this writing, March 2008, we’ve had little success in stopping aliens. But we have had enough success to encourage us to keep trying and sounding an alarm of alien activities.
Dealing with this problem has been made more difficult because all of the governments of the world, with the exception of Belgium, are hiding it. Since alien activity is seen all over the world in the form of UFOs and as encounters on the ground, all governments must be aware of some kind of activity, but to what extent we really don’t know. Investigators such as Stanton Friedman have been instrumental in revealing some of the activities that governments do know about UFOs and alien activity.
Our knowledge of alien activities is confounded by investigators who may be confused, have wishes of what they would like aliens to be, and those who provide misleading or false reports just for monetary gain. There are a great mixture of all types of investigators in the UFO community.
Making Sense of Alien Behavior and Technology
My approach to the problem is that we must make sense of it, and we must use our existing science to understand it. We cannot get confused with fantasy and fiction. For example, the word
The thought screen helmet is a real device. It uses velostat which has different electrical properties than metals. Velostat has impedance, does not hold a static charge and grounds easily. The velostat changes the transmission between aliens and humans, it does not stop it. Please see the case histories and testimonials on my website, stopabductions.com. For additional information about alien abductions, especially the abduction of children, see my other site, aliensandchildren.org. Also see Professor Jacobs’ site, ufoabduction.com for information on alien abductions. I have been making thought screen helmets using velostat and sending them to people all over the world for free for nine years. Eventually I will obtain real proof of alien abductions. If you are interested in alien abductions, please contact me at mmenkin@nwlink.com. If you go to stopabductions.com you will see a new statement about the U.S. Air Force, which is a frequent visitor to the site.