IDIOT, n.

A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.” He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

Ambrose Bierce – The Devil’s Dictionary

No. Strangely enough I’m not referring to Praguetory this time, but rather his pedomorphic (look it up!) political compatriot, C4 who blogs at complete train-wreck he calls ‘Conservative Mind‘, on which he describes his ultimate ambition as being to become ‘a great and influential international statesman and Cabinet minister‘.

Mwahahahaahahahahahaha!

Let’s give you the back story. A while back – can’t be arsed to look up exactly when, C4 made a dumb comment over at Bob Piper’s blog that, IIRC, came in response to one one of Praguetory’s period whinges about being ‘outed’ – I expect it while it was being pointed out that PT’d outed himself.

Whatever.

The upshot of the comment was that I decided to see if C4 was anything like as dumb as dumb as his ‘friend’, with the result that 5-10 minutes later – and based on information from one blog post of his – I managed to trace, amongst other things, his full name, date of birth, current and most recent previous address and even a letter he’d written to a local rag. Only the fact that he’s not worth the additional effort and expense prevented me from obtaining a credit report, etc.

Now, we’re I truly a malicious character I could easily have gone on to pull all manner of stunts – everything from sign him for every junk mail provider in the UK to having all sorts of unwanted crap delivered to his home address, but as that’s not my style I simply left him a bit of an oblique hint and left it at that.

Shuffle forward a few weeks, and C4 is posting crap like this over at PT’s blog:

If he tried his crap with me, he’d be collecting disability benefits for the rest of his miserable life.

You can imagine how I chuckled at his bravado, safe in the knowledge of just how exposed he actually is… oh, the temptation.

But no, idiot that he is I’ve no particular beef with him that’s big enough to justify blowing the guy of the water as badly as I could, given the information I have to hand, so instead I decided to level with him:

You obviously didn’t take the hint I left for you over at Bob Pipers’ blog but so we’re absolutely clear here, based on nothing more than one piece of information that you’ve posted on your own blog it took me a matter of 5-10 minutes to trace your full name, current and previous address, a letter you had published in you local press and – if I could be arsed to spend the money – I could get a credit report as well.

I’ve had that information – oh, for well over a month and haven’t done a damn thing with it. And despite your half baked threats, I would even be happy to point out exactly the information that you need to remove to cover your tracks – privately by email, of course – for no better reason that I don’t have any particular beef with you anyway.

Now I can’t say fairer than that, can I? All he has to do is provide a private contact and I’ll point him to the information he needs to make disappear to cover his arse… but no, here’s his reply:

Don’t sing it *****-Boy, JUST BRING IT!

Perhaps you should rename your blog Pravda, because just like the newspaper’s first editor, a certain Iosef Koba Stalin, the pair of you are commie bullies, hypocrites and liars.

Jeez, when they were giving out brains, this guy was obviously still in the dinner queue!

That’s over at PT’s, since when the idiot has heaped imbecility upon stupidity by posting a ‘message’ at his blog consisting of a crap wrestling promo and the ‘legend’, ‘Don’t hunt what you can’t kill’.

A few years ago that would have been enough to ensure that he’d be getting unwanted pizza deliveries for a month and half the contents of the local Curry’s superstore delivered to his doorstep. Today, I’m older, wiser and rather more sanguine – simply knowing the chaos I could easily pitch the guy into is satisfaction enough, but…

…if I found it so easy to trace that much personal information about him, so can anyone else if they have a mind to – and someone else may not be quite as relaxed about things as I am.

So, for now, the offer still stands, but if C4 prefers to keep on showboating then he’s welcome to take the chance of getting his life fucked over.

That’s his problem, not mine.

*quotation – H L Mencken (naturally)