When it seems that Patrick Cormack’s future as an MP may be more secure than everyone first thought…

The vote which would have ousted veteran Tory MP Sir Patrick Cormack has been declared null and void.

David Billson, chairman of Staffs South Conservatives, said there had been a “clerical error” and a fresh vote would be held in the next two or three weeks.

A clerical error? Mmm, and exactly what kind of clerical error might that be?

It follows claims there were more votes cast than people present at a meeting last week to decide the MP’s future.

Sir Patrick, who was facing deselection after 33 years, described the development as “extraordinary”.

Last Monday’s vote went against Sir Patrick by a narrow margin but the voting figures remained secret even from the MP himself.

He said a party investigation had “established that the attendance record did not appear to reflect an accurate record of those entitled to vote and it has also revealed that more ballot papers were cast than people present”.

Ah, I see… that kind of clerical error – the kind of clerical error that everyone else refers to as ‘ballot stuffing’.

Well that’s alright then, there’s nothing to too concerned about because Detective Inspector Frankie Maude is on the case…

Party chairman Francis Maude had written to Mr Billson saying it was “necessary” to declare the vote invalid, as it could potentially be challenged in court, he added.

WTF? It could be challenged in court? What about your own party rules – surely there must be something in the Tory rulebook about ‘one member, one vote’ at least?
You mean that you’re not just a little eensy-weensy bit curious to know just how, exactly, a branch of your own party came to have more ballot papers cast than voters attending the selection meeting and eligible to vote, Frankie?

I mean its not like you’re saying there’s been a miscount or you’ve given the ballot papers the once over and found an error in the spoiled papers – you’ve apparently got more votes than you had voters, which is usually about the time that get around to suspending the branch while you try to figure out exactly what’s gone on and where these additional ballot papers might have come from…

Except that in the Tory dictionary this is called a ‘clerical error’???

Something fishy is going on here, methinks, as whatever has actually happened the suggestion that having more votes than voters is merely a clerical error seems to me to possibly the worst possible explanation you could have humanly come up with.